Why do humans make this life so complex?  I was reading a blog by someone I know and it really hit me hard; went right to my soul.  This is an offshoot of his blog entry.  Similar, but not the same.

It made me start thinking about love and what it means to me.  Why certain love I tend to push away.  There are many different types of love.  Love for a parent, a child, a pet.  Romantic love.

From Wikipedia:

As an abstract concept love usually refers to a strong, ineffable feeling towards for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

I’m not sure I’ve ever truly loved another human being except for my 2 children.  I would do anything for them, give my life for them.  Protect them in anyway that they need.

This does not mean I haven’t felt ‘love’ for another.  I have.  But the question remains:  what does it mean to truly love another?

And if you never take the chance of letting that person in you’ll miss out on what can be one of the best experiences of your life.  Why do we sometimes not let other in?  What is there to be afraid of?  Hurt?  Disappointment?  Are we not going to have that in our lives anyway?

Why is it so difficult for some to let others into our most private self?  The part of ourself we would only share with the person we fully trusted.  Perhaps we thought we loved once and were hurt so terribly that we feel its not worth the consequences?  For all of us that put up the wall, there are as many reasons for the wall.

I know for me, I have a line.  Get too close to the line and I shut down.  A certain person has been past that line and it’s scary as fuck.  Am I still alive for allowing him past the line?  Yes.  Am I letting him get closer and closer?  Yes.  I am choosing to do this and its not easy.  Have I been hurt?  Not yet.

As I write this, I realize I wrote ‘not yet’.  I ponder why ‘yet’ came out.  Why not ‘no’.  As of now, I haven’t really been hurt.  So why not a simple ‘no’?  Do I just assume I’ll eventually be hurt?  Will I hurt him?  Does it matter?

Why not just let it happen, let go, and take the chance?  Isn’t that what loving is about?  The unknown, showing love to others and receiving it in turn?  Moving the ‘do not cross line’ farther and farther away with each measure of trust that is built; letting another further and further into our souls.

Sounds good on paper.  I’m sure I’ll just keep figuring it out as I go along.  Hopefully, some day, I will choose to take more of a chance and experience something more wonderful than I ever have before.